wham bam

you know how you go along just getting along day by day?  and then WHAM!  the shit hits the fan.  well that happened to us this week.  we started up doing football sundays this past sunday and i didn't feel great, but i thought it was just something i ate.  woke up monday and still didn't feel good, but not that bad.  and then i took a nose dive.  from about 1130am i went from being really sick to around 145pm i needed to get to the hospital stat.  i was barely conscious.  it was pretty scary.  i remember fighting to keep my eyes open and trying to follow what the nurse said so i could answer questions.  i had an emergency appendectomy monday night.  those things are no joke.  who knew such a useless organ could cause such havic?!  luckily ben and i have an awesome support system and were able to get my mom and resa over to watch the girls.  by some miracle i had started pumping my breast milk and storing it in the freezer, and on a whim we bought bottles for davis this past weekend.  and luckily davis loves to eat.  she didn't fight the bottle at all for my mom. 
i think i'm a pretty good person, but i have my share of faults and the past couple of days have highlighted them for me, and probably for those around me.  i like to be in control.  i was sooooo not in control this week.  i freaked out crying before surgery.  the idea of general anesthesia freaks me out.  luckily the guy doing it had an awesome bed side manner and promised that i would wake up again.  i have too much to live for.  as the general practitioner said to me in the er in response to "but i don't want to have surgery", well you can have surgery or you can die.  those are your options right now.  gee thanks.  when you put it that way.  i am also a very hands on momma.  i don't think that is necesarily a flaw, but i can be a bit over protective.  i mean i didn't leave marley anywhere until she was six months old, and then only for an hour and only with my mom.  to be honest my mom is still the only person that has ever watched her.  i mean besides ben and i.  and here davis is not even three months old yet and i am having to leave her for 24 hours.  i knew she was in good hands, but she wasn't in MY hands.  i would like to say that this experience has helped me to conquer my fears and nerves, but that would be a lie.  it has made me think about them.  and it has made me enjoy my girls, my husband, and my family all the more.  by the way, all this went down on ben and i's wedding anniversary.  i have pictures from the past couple of days and a fun video, but i am all tuckered out.  enjoy your ordinary day.  it is special and priceless.  mine are.  thank you for the love, my dear dear family.